okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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