Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
