i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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