The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
