Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
