My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
