I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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