I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
