PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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