I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize