You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
