In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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