It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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