Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
