Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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