I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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