WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
