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Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
