A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
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I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
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there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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