Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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