Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
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Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
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I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.