i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just googled if crying burns calories
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
