You made me cry and you don't even care
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Floor bacon is actually really good
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
