I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
