you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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