The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
