Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
birth control should be required to get into college
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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