my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
