my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize