is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
