sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize