I got chris browned last night
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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