Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
