So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I love you.
Bad choice
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
