well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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