so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
