He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
