When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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