Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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