There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
