I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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