i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
