Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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