we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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