dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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