Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
