The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
