Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
