Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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