Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
