shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
