That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
