dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
