will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
