I want to stick my p in your. b.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
