You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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